The Actress

Did you ever look, did you ever see that one person and the subtle way that they do these things and it hurts so much?so much like choking down the embers of a great blaze.It's that moment when your eyes seem to spread aspersions and to scream confessions at the insipid sky parting clouds.

Thought that those years would change you,thought that the hellhole you have been living in would make you think,thought that the SHIT you went through would make you a better person,but you will never learn.Your weak self but yet so heartless,so unaware about your surroundings,your uncanny display.

Your portait stood there in blackness,spiteful.the sweetest words that you would say to me,that show that you put in front of me.Even i was fooled.

Words can be so misleading as faces can be made.

Untitled

A story of a cautious mind,somewhat an Illuminati,the all-seeing eye,of pure substance and depth. Unparalelled seer,that has been adored by many,many.The stereotyped world,this mind would chameleonise,this mind would assimilate like no other. Almost too immature to pose a great challenge to this, Almost too young to compare.

If only times were simpler,if only the world was bigger,just maybe,just maybe,the casualties would be negligable.If only the scheme of things could be disobeyed.

Red Herring

To seek Genesis after one's repentance of the past,the crusade that brought blood on their hands,is merely a wishful thinking.Everlasting memories,haunted memories that causes illogical actions,simply impossible.

While the thinking majority,foolishness struck their brains,negativity that runs deep in their veins,that omits retrospective statements,i am stunned,i am shocked.i am too small to interfere this sickness.i am too little to be heard.

My simple wish is to evade this cycle,this complex network of unnecessary opinions.

The Scheme Of Things

Some things are made to be unchanged,things that should not be,things that should not happen.I supposed that was alterable,i thought that was able to be broken,i thought that things should go our way.i thought its a casualty to mend our own path.I tried but failed,i tried walking but was thrown to the sidewalks.i tried to re-assess but the repercussions were inevitable.i tried to mend things but it fell to deaf ears.

I am aware of my wrongdoings,i wish i could have done better,i want to live well,i hope someone out there would listen,someone that could remove these razorblades off my flesh.

A Mystical Journey

A journey i stumbled upon,fate that is so uncertain,never knowing what lies in front,the clouds that shadow the cobblestones,it seems rather impossible, im afraid. Hoping to reach the destination,while having pictures clogging my brain of failed attempts and a dead end,hoping not to be a blind crusade,hoping not to be lost.

The vague signs that leave me questioning the circumstances.i dare not to give up,i dare not to turn back. The whispers in my ears,the debating of thoughts in my mind halts my motion to budge forward.

I was told to never stop half way of what i am doing.i was told to act responsibly,sometimes id see a silver lining hidden in the clouds but disappears in a blink of an eye. it is frightening that you can't predict what might have been in front.

Though it might be pointless,i'll try to clear the eerie clouds in front of me,i'll never stop to finish my journey,the outcome would be both ways but i'd walk, i'd never turn back and not knowing what lies in front of me.

The Magician

I am a magician,i do magic but i don't do miracles.i can make a coin vanish but i can't make these thorns in my flesh disappear.i can levitate but i can't fly.i can form words using ashes on my hand but i can crack open that intricate mind of those.i can pluck flowers from the thin air but i can't find a reason for myself.i can find the card that you chose but i can't find the things you want me to say.i make mistakes but who am i?im just a human,nothing more nothing less.

Time and Time Again.

For Blue Skies starting to chase the sun away,the weakened knees felt heavier than ever.Time Vindicated his foolish actions,his hiatus to return to where he felt safe,but now he's sorry.Now we washed away the Diamond that he had posessed.He wished for once an angel would return him his belonging but seemed to be falling to deaf ears.The sun never again shone upon him.

Imperfect Perfection

So hard we try to keep the Pandora's box,for years or even centuries we were told to keep the box unopened,temptation kicks in,the curiosity-the blind curiousity that lies within our hollow brains,always brings to no avail.

We try to be the best of ourselves to the many many eyes around us,but theres always a hint of blackness,a hint of darkness that drives people see within,we try to conceal,even with the halo that we place on ourselves,but in the end it turns black.

The Eagle

Don't be afraid o' young Eagle,you have the gift of the talon,you have the gift of the superluminal,you have the gift of the sight of none other,unleash o' little eagle.fly fly fly,as you have been idolised by many.Spread your wings,for you are noble and majestic.

Behold the Eagle,for you never savour the dead,for you appreciate the young,don't lose yourself.For you see the great distances that never before discovered,you have the gift of mind,never waste,You are the eagle.

For you are never afraid for the storms,the dark winds,for you use these acts of god to lift you to great heights of glory,behold.

The Invisible Chain

These unknown chains,tying of each of my limb to an invisible wall,trapped.This enigma,in the crypt of words i dare not explain,ashamed for some reason.days and days of agony,finally set me free,unhooked me from all the plain,i felt wonderful,rejoiced.the dreadful experience.finally.

Like a phoenix,im bound to become.like a phoenix,ill fly away from the ashes,from those black smoke that pulled me down under.felt whole again,the weight on my shoulders been removed.im the heir to the throne,the magical throne.

Paradigm Shift

We hope for optimisation of our lives,having someone to improve our living,having someone to be the driving force to catalyze our perfection,its a shame that some people don't believe in that.We want our surroundings to navigate us through the hurdles of life,we want those power to be with us,we want to believe that we belong to this world,we are qualified.

I believe in transformation,evolution,paradigm shift that would lead us to eternal happiness.We are living in the bottomless pit,we never know how deep it's gonna be,but we prepare to what might wait us in the future.

Staying status quo wont do us any good.we are always searching,He is hoping,they are hoping.its us who make the beast out of ourselves,it is our judgment that make us who we are.

The Devil Call

He hunts for fear and emotion,he hunts for those who are haunted by their memories,their awful tragedy.Such malice is unrivalled,such creature feels no compassion.such creature does not stop,keeps wanting for more and more agony,that lies in the eye of victim,giving him more strength.such quality brings more darkness.

Pitch black,the victim sees,An army of the blackened souls,those malevolent eyes,he could see the cruel intention.scared he was,petrified he was.

The Lion's Den

No man can break the spirit of a lion,the spirit to devour the bones and the life of its prey,without any remorse,the unmatched grotesque.We are scared to face this monstrous creature,the suffering we wished we had never tried,the unexplained regret that we feel upon facing the consequences.

The lion does not choose,it sees and pounds them,hungered like a beast while we obliviously fall into the trap,so unfortunate we cant foresee the colors of the shadow.All we can see is only the visible,blinded by the face of the masked devil.

Who are We?

How long should we wait until the people we actually care ask for help?how long shall we watch them trapped in agony,if tears that kiss the earth only fall to deaf ears?how much do we have to suffer until we learn what is right?

a Preacher once said,we never change,as stubborn as i am,id like to prove him wrong,he'd like to be mistaken.he cries for a change,for a transformation among the people he lives with,he longs for eternal happiness.so sadly he is alienated,by us.i may not be the one who calls his summons,but i do want to change.

The praying father and the worried mother,cry in vain for their sons and daughters to be the best they can ever be,not knowing their children never see the real world,the world of foolishness and endurance.what we see is only joy,and joy.

Angels and Demons fighting with each other,while spreading their doctrines to others.we humans dont have that ability,that power,but we are the ones who decide,we are the judges that value the fight,we are the ones who determine.

We lack of color in life,we assumed we are,but we lack of a lot of things.we forget reality and we are blinded by fairy tales,fake tales that leaves us one-eyed.

My bromidic sermons,are my point of view,that is derived from my experience,my awful experience.

An Ode

Pete Murray - So Beautiful


Found myself just the other day
In the backyard of a friends place,
Thinkin' about you,
Thinkin' of the crowd you're in,
What you up too where you been?
(Just thinkin')

And all the clothes that you wear,
And the colors in your hair
Shouldn't change you
Now you tell me why it's so
You bigger than mighty Joe,
(At lest you think so)

God my fingers burn,
Now when I think of touching your hair
You have changed so much that I don't know,
If I can call you and tell you I care
And I would love to bring you down,
Plant your feet back on the ground

Throw my smoke down on the ground,
Turn my head and I heard the sound,
(That reminded me)
Of the days so young and sweet
Always so much fun to meet
(At lest I thought so)

Now you think your so damn fine

You can rule the world no not mine,
I don't think so

God my fingers burn,
Now when I think of touching your hair
You have changed so much that I don't know,
If I can call you and tell you I care

Now the scene that you're in,
And the people that you been with
Just get to me,
But you think I'm not as cool,
As you are so beautiful
Well who you fooling?

Well I'm here to tell you babe
The game your in is just a game
So damn pretentious

God my fingers burn,
Now when I think of touching your hair
You have changed so much that I don't know,
If I can call you and tell you I care
And I would love to bring you down,
Plant your feet back on the ground

You think you're so beautiful
(So beautiful)

The Need

Dear God,give me inspiration,give me the sun instead of the moon,give me a heart instead of a stone.Sometimes i hate to be independant,knowing nothing could bring me down.sometimes i need the thrill,the experiments,but what i get drove me far away from it.

The cold blood of mine,that of the reptiles,going through paradigm shift with no regrets,no looking back,sometimes triggers me,can i ever be warm.The cold blood of mine,as wonderful as it seems,longs for challenge and the greatness of life,for the crusade-surprise me ladies and gentlemen.

Take me to a place i don't know,my curious mind is looking for new atmosphere,new experience.get me guessing and wondering,working my brain off and searching for an answer,take me to a place where i can spill my knowledge.

Let bygones be bygones,i hope.

The Mirage

Like a mirage, giving an illusion to the eye that needs, so deceiving. Giving the hope, giving the temporary happiness, you wait for them to come near,you wait for them to grasp, then you disappear, never revealling the truth its never there.

Like a mirage, so wonderful it looks, like diamond in the charcoal sea. This phenomenon tests the patience of a man to learn the colours of the world.

Like a mirage, more than meets the eye.

The Change

I see multiples of me,debating within my thoughts,analyzing for an answer in my brain,minutes felt,in reality only seconds.I feel like i've understood a lot of things in a better way. I feel the courage as The Puzzle forces my brain to work like gears,multiple gears. The Puzzle made me realise the world like no other,deciphering the codes in full throttle motion. I see myself as a thinker, a long thinker.I felt safe,for once,confidence,for once. Felt the impurities in my brains slowly deteriorates,like the wave,washing away with the heavy tides of beauty.

I feel the need to learn,i feel the greatness of divine power gripped in my hands,my god i feel wonderful,my god i feel rejoiced in great thoughts of change, my god i feel blessed,This new year maybe a new experience for me,like searching for the heritage,only better. Like exploring with Darwin on his Beagle,learning the evolution of life. i feel inspired by certain theories,by certain someone,a certain Puzzle,a certain romance.

Deep inside my veins,as small as it can be,still the crimson joy rushed into my brains,like lubricant to an engine,my complex structure seemed to be easily eased,is it the wonders of life or simply a hoax?well i wonder.

The horror

im confused,my invincibility cloak was torn apart,leaving me behind like being amputated. i feel hurt,something has taken something from me,i can feel my knees weakening and my hatred piling.is it my pseudo-world? is it my guilty conscience?well im officially vulnerable now,not like how i used to be,i hate this.

charmed and enchanted,disgusted somehow,like veins injected with thalidomide,the feeling of dying,laid to rest but in vain

The Start

A new hope

the end of my hurdles

new friendship

reborn friendship

a new tyre

new Fawwaz

improved Fawwaz

420-niac arrest

upgraded family

less nicotine

extra income?

new puzzle

new specialty

special Corner Of My Eye